Criminally vulgar…

Rags and bones

The Gods know I’ve been running away from love for so long now. I don’t want any of that shit in my life but… of course… it’s not my decision to make.

The grand illusion, the one that makes me feel like an idiot, is making the mistake of thinking that, somehow, I was in command of my heart. For me, that’s an awful thing. I can’t think of anything scarier than not controlling my heart.

For so many years I’ve been saying to myself that I’m hollow. I’m a hollow, dry and bitter fucker. It’s my way of keeping it going. I accept this… emotional numbness as a consequence of having nothing to offer to someone else.

However, again, it was not my decision to make and I’m in charge of shit.

For once the fear of it all, the fear of suffering, the fear of getting hurt was surpassed by the most overwhelming feeling I know… the feeling of discovering I can still love with a frightening intensity and all it toke was… you.

You are the crack in the dam.

How did you do that? How dare you, and why can’t I stop it all?

Why do things make sense, when I’m with you, when they make no sense at all?
Why do I feel like the bravest of men and the most coward of them all?
Why do I want to fuck you and write you endless love letters?

I’m full of shit you say.
That’s one of the reasons I love you… you know… you are so much wiser than me.

I’m full of shit you say.
That’s one of the reasons I fear you… you know… you can see right through me, but if you can… what do you really see then?

Let’s meet half way, you say.
Half way between the bravery and the cowardice.

Lets meet anywhere you want, I say, and if I’m not smart enough to get it… please help me.

Just don’t say I go about things the wrong way. I don’t know any better.

Lets make a deal… Lets meet anywhere you want and if I’m not smart enough to find the meeting point… help me. In return I will give you… everything.

For F

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2 comments
  1. Son of Sharecroppers said:

    I don’t know what to say about the text. But the image is marvelous.

    • Thank you my friend, it was an emotional outburst.

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