To make a long story short let me just say that after an ultrasound exam the doctor discovered some… using his words… “strange shapes” in me and ordered an immediate CAT scan.
I would rather face Sugar Ray as I don’t believe he could hit me as hard as those words.
As I was waiting in the hospital to make the CAT scan, my mother was sitting right next to me. I could see the anguish and concern in her eyes and I cursed myself for that.
The look on her face was far, far more devastating than any result from the CAT scan. I blamed myself for everything. I asked the gods for the scan to come out clean. Not for myself but to spare my mother, my father, my sister, my son and my best friend from the sadness and concern.
You can always think to yourselves “yeah right…”, but this is the absolute truth.
At some point I thought: fuck it. God knows I’ve done some nasty things to my body and mind so… The Universe always works in pairs; day/night, birth/death, sun/moon, love/hate… It’s the ONLY law.
God knows I would give my life without a second of a doubt for the life of any of the above. I love them so much I could not endure to be the cause of any kind of sadness, no matter the reason. That would kill me faster than any illness.
The Universe really works in pairs, anguish and fear are now happiness and relief. What was a desert is now the dream of a green clover field.